I stayed fat for my wedding

I just got married. I have mentioned this a lot all over social media and with friends because getting married was absolutely ace and I had the best day of my life! I got married in a beautiful Anglican Church, my bridesmaids wore stunning sage green and I was fat.

I was fat on my wedding day because I am fat in "real life". Lots of people had asked how I was going to trim down for the wedding, and this isn't a criticism of them - we are so conditioned to think it is ok to ask bigger girls about their weight, that I am in no way surprised that people asked me.

I went to a Youth event (I was helping to run it, alas I am no longer youth) about three weeks or so before the big day. It was exhausting and wonderful, but at one point, shattered and a little down, a wonderful woman who I adore plied me with Welsh cakes and Rocky road to get my energy up. I joked about not being able to fit in my Wedding dress and the response was fantastic!

"You're not bloody losing weight for the wedding are you?!"

"No, I just..."

"Good! You are who you are and you're the woman he fell in love with so that is bloody well that, do you have milk and sugar in your tea?"

I had made a half arsed attempt at eating better before the wedding, sticking to slimming world recipes for our evening meals but to be honest I managed that maybe once a week. The thing is that just before your wedding, lots of people want to see you, usually for dinner, always with booze.

I was not about to make myself feel rubbish and grumpy picking at a salad, when the friends I am out with to celebrate my upcoming Nuptials are throwing back bellinis and having dessert! No way!

So, I got married fat.

I met my husband three years ago, I was a size 16 then, I'm a size 16/18 now. He has never known me skinny - this is because I have never been skinny. But that's ok.

I don't love my husband 'cause he is slim, I love him because he is funny and kind and slightly odd. He doesn't love me despite my size. It isn't like he is such a good person that he can see past my size and make himself love me. It is completely irrelevant.

My husband doesn't deserve a prize for loving me at my size. I see articles and photos and things like, "this skinny guy married a fatty, isn't he a wonderful man", like he did her some sort of great favour. The article doesn't mention that she's kind, or funny, or has a design company, or makes him breakfast in bed. It's just, "she's fat, he's skinny, what a good guy!"

I refused to starve myself stupid to lose three stone for one day, then pile it all back on when I felt relaxed enough to do so. I'm not saying I would never like to lose weight, I want to be healthy and I'm probably straying out of that category, but that is less to do with my weight and more to do with me being the most anti-exercise person ever.

This trope of the bride starving herself wasn't something I wanted to get wound up in. Women are incredible, beautiful individuals, and the way I look on my wedding day will be nothing like how my best friend looks, or my sister in law, or my cousin. But that is absolutely ok! There are women in all shapes and sizes who look utterly stunning on their big day - and in life - and it's ok to be a fat bride, a skinny bride, a bit in-between bride, a non traditional bride, a punk bride! Whatever! Your wedding day is about you and your man/woman and you get to look however you want to!

I'm not going to be made to feel that I have to completely change my body type and look completely different to the woman Simon met and fell in love with, just so that I look like societies perfect bride!

I got married fat. Because I am fat. And I felt beautiful!